| A lot of people who know me, I mean really know, get this side of me that tends to be, bang-boom-yeah-I-said-that-what-about-it? I mean I've said a lot of shitty things to people. But few people are of the understanding that I really only ever say those things because I care. I care enough to say that you're being a dick, I care enough to judge your friends because I'm aware that you will get hurt and meet disappointment, I care enough to say that your hot new girl\boyfriend might not be everything you see. Those few people know that I wouldn't waste my time if I didn't care about you. It's much easier to nod my head when someone I dislike ask me if the pants they are wearing make their ass look big, than to say endure the shit storm that "um, you're a little plump down there" will kick up.
Yes I'm pretty bastard-ish, but I care.
That being said in regards to my one and only true love, Crystal (G6), I've seen a lot of guys(stalkers) walk into her life. I'm seen a great many of them sent packing, a few of which I've helped arrange their things before their exit out of her life. And I've been used. Not in big dramatic ways, but subtle I-only-see-you-as-an-obstacle-in-my-way-as-I-try-to-court-Crystal kind of ways. Simply put, I am the closet that anyone can be to Crystal. I'm a G. I'm THE G. The WHOLE group. (Ok well maybe not that, it's just fun to say) I love Crytal, more than any douche bag that comes around would care to recognize or could ever live up to. Yes, yes there are other Gs that love her just as much but come on... I mean it's a wonder we aren't married yet. ( I just wouldn't sleep with her...=;P)
I understand how important it is to tell someone how you feel about them. I mean Alex would always say things like "If I died tomorrow I'd want to die without regretting anything. So this is why I try to do thing that you might see as dangerous" and I would always respond with "If I died tomorrow I would want everyone I loved to know I loved them. I love you so that takes care of that." I believe that it's one of the most important things in this world. And without such pressure as imminent death, I think it's all about how you chose to express it and the ways you go about telling someone. It's the romantic libra thing I have. ( You people should call me and we could talk about love) But on the flip side I am well aware of the potential for that to blow up in people faces, for the timing to be off or the situation to be wrong. I just wish guys would fuckin' listen to me and most of all listen to Crystal. I mean REALLY REALLY listen to her. You know instead of pile driving your way through everything. Cuz, you know here's a tip from her boyfriend of 8 years, Crystal digs guys who listen.
I just think it funny how you can line up all your cards, try to set the mood and psych yourself up and let Crystal know that you care about her and just what she means to you. That you can walk away from it feeling smug and angelic and puff out your chest. But then fail to inspire her to be motivated for a response because all you've done was corner her, because all you've done is show her how inconsiderate and selfish you are by disregarding everything else except for your own feelings. To show her that all that matters is what you want.
I mean it's funny, right? | comments: 3 comments or Leave a comment   |
| This is me enraged after reading a "love" letter ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) tsunami_g6's crackhead POS ex boyfriend wrote to her after he stalked her to Boston. I asked Crystal if I could eat it as a show of my utter rage.
We put in a box with a few of of his gifts as a "return". That's her Mom I'm cutting up with about him. Nice to have a team effort.
P.S: It's also nice to have Crystal trapped in my bed as I type this. MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
| | comments: 10 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | The Birthday Massacre-Goodnight | | Subject: | Some Answers... | | Time: | 03:40 pm |
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| when did you know you were gay? although i have to say i like the term queer better than gay. i guess it just comes down to the root meaning of the words. i prefer to think of myself as strange or unusual than happy. and then what was your introduction to the "bear community"? did you always like bears or find this out about your self sometime later in your gay quest?
I always knew I was gay. From the moment I could think I knew that I enjoyed the company of men and boys and that I would one day want to spend my life with a man. Weird huh? I liked girls but always felt like they were a lesser species. Which is obviously true. OMG just kidding. Occasionally growing up there had been girls that I was attracted to and this is true even now, but in the end my feelings for men are much stronger. But who knows, maybe one day I'll have a wife and everyone will be just as surprised as me. I learned about bears and the bear community in a straight porn magazine. Weird again huh? But when I got a chance I hopped on the internet and looked it up and low and behold I found porn I'd enjoy all the time. I always the like the "bear" type of guys, but I like other types of guys as well. To list or describe them, I like guys who are tall, stocky, with facial hair, and a little muscle or bulk. But also I can say that i like soccer, baseball, rugby, football types. And when it comes down to it it's all about the guy. I know that one now more than ever. =:p
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i like that you like moperock. i remember my introduction to it, joy division 'love will tear us apart'. i was hooked. deathrock seems to commital. i want music by a bunch of people who are too apathetic to really commit to such extremes. i like much more like whining about life in a witty manner than true hatred of anything. so to get to my question, whats your favorite cure song?
Oh man "Love will tear us apart" has so much more mean to me now than ever. And you're asking what ONE of my favorite Cure songs is?! Here's a run down of a few I love:
Lament
Lovesong (Squee!)
Same Deep Water As You
The Figure Head
The Last Day Of Summer
Bloodflowers
A Forest
Burn
Doing The Unstuck
Why Can't I Be You?
There Is No If
Where The Birds Always Sing
World In My Eyes (A Depeche Mode cover that is sexy)
Did I just make my own Cure cd?
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Im a dork because im fascinated with the whole Ninja thing, so my question...
When will you post more video's so we can see you doing more cool ninja stuff. The one video I saw of you was amazing!
I'm trying to invest in a cheap but decent digital camera so I can take short videos and upload them. I really actually wanted to do this so I can study them and see what i need to work on. This would also be useful for my friends and their training. Plus, I'm a big geek and want to make short little movies to amuse people. I'd really like to post more over the spring and summer but we'll have to see. And thanks for watching my video, smooch smooch!
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are you ever coming to see us?
I'd like to think that I could go anywhere I want at any moment but alas that is not so. I have limited funds and have large anti social streaks. Added to the fact that you aren't the only ones that wants my little Asian ass, I feel like I need to sit down and make a huge game plan. I would love to visit each and everyone one of you and i really do hope I can do that. My next trip right now is to AnimeBoston and that's going to take a lot of my resources. We'll see how my spring is as I have some personal obligations to look after. This may all seem like excuse to you but I'm very happy to have a life right now, as small and simple as it is.
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what is your best memory?
It would have to be the arc of 17 and 18. I had no wants or cares in the world, no need for money, or a boyfriend, no need to be fulfilled in my life other than doing martial arts, reading, writing, watching kung fu movies, hanging out with my friends, looking at it now, large circle of friends. Dani was around, Kylen was around, Cassie and Minkus were around, Adah was Caitlin, Dave was not a bad ass breakdancer who didn't have time for people, and The G's were getting closer. Thinking about those times almost brings tears in my eyes because I feel like, as much as I have now, those times were all I could ever wish for. I missed raving under the moon, experimenting with Caitlin, going to little house parties to meeting people, and crawling around abandon buildings or just meadering around our neighborhoods hunting for ghosts and demons and other spookie okies. But time moves on and there are other things that I have to fulfill me Those people are still in my life they just have moved on. And I guess, so have I.
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What kind of ninja are you?
Hmm. Well I don't know how to take that question. If you are asking of my ethnicity I am part Chinese, Khmer, and a little Japanese. If you are asking about my martial arts, I actually don't know any ninjitsu. I mean I learned of taijutsu but that was through the years. People just call me a ninja because they are either ignorant or because they are silly heads. I've been doing martial arts basically before I could even walk. My father had really big plans for me. I started with Wing Chun and Shaolin Wushu with some Shaolin Long Fist to keep me balanced. At around 5-6 I learned some of the Crane and Tiger styles, then at about 8 I was taught Goju Ryu Karate and Muay Thai kick boxing, then my father added Pa Kua, Hsing I, and Tai Chi. At one point I was introduced to his colleagues in the martial arts circle. They taught me some Capoeria, Aikido, and Jujitsu Through out the years, until I was about 13 I jumped between all of them in my training. He start to introduce Western Boxing into the mix when i was 13. At 15 I had a huge falling out with my dad about my training and spent a year learning what i wanted to learn. Mainly gathering bits and pieces from his colleagues. I came back at 16 ready to learn from him again. Now he focuses on Boxing, Muay Thai, and Wing Chun in my personal training with him. But to answer your question, I'm not really a ninja. Just happen to be asian. Oh and I can do some flips. | | comments: 11 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Suicide Commando-Face Of Death(Wake The Dead Remix) | | Subject: | Questions | | Time: | 04:45 am |
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| | Ask me any question. Silly questions, serious questions, homosexual question, ninja questions, religious questions, humpy questions. I guess I'll screen comments too, if that makes you few better. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| When I asked great gods for someone attractive who I got along with to lay around in bed with I totally didn't mean Crystal.
It's nice to know there are some guys who are totally envious of me. =;P | | comments: 6 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | De/Vision-The End ( Extended Club Ver.) | | Subject: | Opinions Please... | | Time: | 05:34 am |
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| What is flirting to you?
You can explain it with personal experiences,pie charts, powerpoints or whatever. Tell me what ya think. | | comments: 6 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Subject: | From bri4u | | Time: | 05:55 am |
|
| 1. Your Name:
2. Age:
3. Favorite position:
3a. Do you want me to fuck you?
4. Do you think I'm cute?
5. Would you have sex with me?
6. lights on or off?
7. Would you have to be drunk?
8. Would you take a shower with me?
9. Have you ever thought about having sex with me?
10. Would you leave after or stay the night?
11. Do you like cuddling afterwards?
12. Condom or skin?
13. Have sex on the first date?
14. Would you kiss me during sex?
15. Do you think I would be good in bed?
16. Would you use me as a booty call?
17. Can I use you as a booty call?
18. Can we take pictures of the act?
19. How long would we have sex?
20. Would you tell your friends about me?
21. Will you post this so I can fill it out for you?
22. Can I un-screen your entry if it's cute/funny?
I don't really know how to screen comments but i'm sure if you were writing this you wouldn't care if it was or not. Anyway I think I did it right, we'll have to see. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| So tonight I'm going to a gay social with Frank and Da Manwich. It's a wine tasting organized along with a local community center for LGBT in the New Haven area. It will be benefiting some type of AIDS\HIV charity. Sounds nice. Now I don't drink wine and neither does Frank. But Frank likes a boy there and likes his newfound gay liberation.
I'm going for many reason. 1). I think the guy Frank likes is a total fag. As in one of those jaded bathhouse queens who tries to hook up with you and then jumps on to his online profiles to line up who's next. So any opportunity i have to call him out on his shit with Frank is an opportunity I'll take. He's 34, he should know better. But he's a nice guy though. Dull, with no personality, kind of tweaked on, well whatever approaching middle-aged gay men get tweaked on (Poopers? meth? Pinesol?), and frighteningly obsessed with Disney. But nice. Oh and he only likes skinny white boys. 2) When I came out I had always wanted to go somewhere that had people just like me, be it a gay club, bar, store, or social. Then I had interaction with actual gay people and realized that the people I am friends with are more like me. But i still always wanted to go to a social. =;P The thought of mixing my rebellious mentality with formal graces are alluring to me. 3)Alex loves wine so it will be good for him. Did I mention that he gets frisky after a few drinks? | | comments: 7 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Marylyn Manson-The Beautiful People (Remix And Repent) | | Subject: | Birthday Ninjary | | Time: | 04:09 pm |
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| So today is Da Manwich's Birthday. He turns to big 26. So to surprise him I broke into his house, (he's from da south he never locks his door) trashed the place, (cleaned up as much as I could in my limited time frame. it was an in and out operation) then proceeded to rape and pillage as I please (I left him the presents I got for him a few weeks back and pastries from his favorite bakery in the fridge). And then I left. MUHAHHAHAHAHAHA My evil never ceases!
I better get laid for this. | | comments: 1 comment or Leave a comment |
| From sluggobear
October 11th is Coming-Out Day. But being gay is not the only thing you can keep in a closet. It's quite liberating to be able to reveal something you've been hiding. Maybe we keep things secret to avoid getting hurt, or to avoid hurting others. But often we're mostly just worried about what others will think of us. And yet, no matter what secret you may have... someone else is probably hiding exactly the same thing.
Perhaps you've felt the relief after telling someone you're gay... and you no longer have to be constantly vigilant and secretive about it. This principle applies to other things, as well. Perhaps you are suffering from depression. Perhaps you believe in God, but you don't tell your gay friends for fear of being judged or made fun-of. Maybe you've done something dishonest, or you are bi-sexual. Perhaps you have a medical condition, maybe you've served time in prison, or perhaps you're still suffering from a traumatic event.
They say that "the truth shall set you free," so here's the meme challenge. During the week of October 11th, Coming-Out Day, reveal something about yourself that you've been hiding. If something's been eating away at you, here's your chance to say something.
Please exercise discretion. You might not want to disclose something that will get you in legal trouble, or would violate someone's trust. And there are certain things that are personal, some of which you may decide should remain that way.
If you're up to the challenge, be brave, be bold, and consider that you might be helping someone else to know they're not alone. Or maybe you'll just be relieved that you don't have to keep something secret anymore.
Here's the full text of the original meme, along with some ideas for things you might want to consider writing about.
http://sluggobear.livejournal.com/180295.html
____________________________
I'm not usually into these "National-WhateverTheHell-Day" but since it's National Coming Out Day and there happens to be gay people that like to talk to me about things, I would join in on the Nations plans to come out with something.
Of all the things I've kept to myself over the years there's been one thing that I've always tried to keep tucked away. The only one person I've ever told was Alex and that was recently. It's not really a secret, but I treat it like one. This is something I have tried over the years to utterly erase from my memories. The one thing that makes my mind repeat "It never happened, it never happened". It's not something I ever want to say to anyone anyway, other than it sounding like gossip or a ploy for pity. But it's something I haven't been able to admit to myself and something both my parents don't ever want to admit. The reason why my father pleads for my forgiveness with his eyes and my mother is so gentle with me. It's more of a memory.A memory we all, my mother father and I, pretend never happened together. I've never brought it up with them. I don't ever seek to try. It concerns the night my parents finally decided to split up and began the exile of my father from the family I am tied to currently. It bothers me a lot when people ask about my family. They hear me talk about my mother and father and put together that we are a family. That is not the case at all. I have two parents. A mother and a father. But I am not the bridge of their unity, I am the distance between them. I am a witness.
I was about 4 at the time. It was very late and I was deeply slumbering. My parents were in the little room my mother used as her dark room right next to where I slept. I heard their voices raise, even in my deep sleep. I heard banging and crashing and shouting. Then I heard the door to the room open. I jump up in bed and suddenly started crying. I knew something was wrong. My mother started screaming. "get help, go downstairs and get help!" Then my father "Stay there Chanthoun" My father only ever used my full name when he wanted to grasp me deeply inside and hear his words. So I stayed. I stopped crying and watched. I watched as my father grabbed my mother by the arm. I watched her pull away, dropping her body almost to the ground like a child trying to loosen themselves from the grip of a frustrated adult. I watched my mother screaming and crying and pleading. My father kept his grip on her, yelling into her face words I couldn't comprehend. Then I watched as my father raise his hand. My father so short and slight, but powerful. My father the martial artist. My father who shattered bamboo with a strike when I playfully asked how strong he was. My father who obliterated wood and concrete with the same hands he combed my hair and carried me with. I watched my father strike my mother in anger.
His strike was so fierce it shook the walls, the ceiling, the floors. It shook my heart. I believed there and then that he killed her. The way her body when limp and a noise like a wounded animal left her mouth. But he let her go and she recovered. From that explosion of violence my mother stagger-crawled away. My father slammed the door shut and cornered my mother. My mother whose jet black hair fell to her thighs. Whose smile was innocent and free, not like a mothers at all, but like the prettiest girl you've ever seen. Whose strike, I know from many trying periods of stubbornness on my part, to be just as fierce as my father. All at once the side of her room moved in an instant. It was as if the room was a sinking boat and my father was dead weight. My mother had fought back. She was tossing everything she could with rage, and fear and adrenaline. My parents were shouting again. And so I cried.
I don't remember what happened after that, just my family shouting from downstairs. I don't even remember what happened the next few days after that. Just eventually ending up in a parking lot and given the choice that would effect my whole life. Stay with my mother or leave with my father. That single choice, from those who know the rest of the story after that, has lead me to this life.
So there you have it. My Coming out story for this day. The reason why I am quiet and cynical. The reason why instead of getting angry, I get emotional. Because that anger could cause me to lose the things I love just like my father lost his whole life that night. Because i don't want to lose Alex, or my friends. or myself any more that I already have. So I'll cry, because deep down I don't want things to be this way. Cry because the tears quell the anger and I'd rather be weak to the people I love than a violent man who raises his hand in anger. Cry because I love you and I don't want you to leave me. So there you have it. The reason why I am afraid all the time. Because you are never safe. Not even from the people you love. | | |
| On Saturday after all our plan making had come undone, Alex decided that he was hooked on exploring after the Pleasure Beach\Silent Hill\OMGWTF Awesome! Experience. He had heard from a co-worker about three of CT creepiest places. One was Pleasure Beach, the second was Little People Village, and the final one was Holy Land. When he had first mentioned it I was a bit skeptical since he didn't give it much introduction. But after he explained it to me I suddenly realized that Adah and Minkus had once told me about the place. Now I was definitely ready to see it. So we got back in touch with Zack and Frank (who we originally made plans with) to go with us. Our party was complete!
Now much like any State there are many MANY places in CT that are creepier and crazier, but these are pretty much accessible to anyone (except the handicapable). Plus you can get in without fear of the law. I mean going to Holy Land is considered trespassing but you can get to Little People Village and Pleasure Beach easily. But it wasn't like there was a state trooper sitting in front of the place. There are however nuns. Which made it more crazy/Silent Hill/OMGWTF Awesome!
Now getting back to it. Holy Land is\was an Christian Amusement Park that was abandoned in the mid-80s. It's set up on a plateau above the valley in Waterbury and it's smack dab in the middle of a suburb. You literally drive up a neighborhood and there it is. I took some pictures of our adventure on Franks digital camera (A Canon 1.7 megapixel for all those looking to get me a bday gift..er ehem I mean it's a nice camera). For some of you you'll get to see my fella for the first time as well see the Zack and Frank I talk about so much.
Here's the goods:
Come On You Know You Wanna Freakin' Look!
(P.S I was standing on, like, I guess broken miniature tombstone so I was 1. Falling and 2. Creeped out. Hence I have a crazy suckerfish face. But my man be lookin sexy.)
( Holy Land )
There you have it. My biggest, most epic post in a long while. Hope you like it! | | comments: 21 comments or Leave a comment |
| I've been through a lot these past few months and did a lot of growing up. One thing you may have all came to put together is that I had a boyfriend who in the end I discovered I was madly in love with. All of those who know me in real life saw just how much he meant to me and how much he changed me and the things he brought out in me. Then one day he decided that he was overwhelmed and needed a break from me. He was pretty sure that we were over but i told him i would wait for him. In the weeks to follow I did a lot of soul searching and come to one grand conclusion.
In the end I have not ever stopped loving the people in my life. So I'd just like to tell those people how I feel.
Michael Eversol-I'm sorry I am not a bear and that I could not save the day. I love you.
Joseph Juneau-I am sorry for taking you seriously enough to let you hurt me. Most of all for lashing out at you. I love you.
Ben and Drewdaddy-I am sorry I can't lighten you burden, you've done that for me more than you know. I love you.
The G's-You are the greatest group of friends i could ever ask for, you mean so much to me. G7 For Life! I love you guys!!!
and Last but not least.
He may have brought me a lot of pain and a lot of sleepless nights and unfed days, but in the end I let everyone know that as much as he hurt me, he was nothing but sweet and kind and good to me and that I love him very much after all he's put me through.
Alex P. Newman-You are the most beautiful, amazing, wonderful thing I've ever known. You are the love of my life. You give me more strength that I knew i had, more compassion than I'd care to admit, and most of all you bring light into my dark world. I LOVE YOU! | | comments: 9 comments or Leave a comment |
| But mostly for bigfundrew since he deals with all this drama on lj.
[22:12] gladdb: I didn't know you wanted me to
[22:20] PlasmaG7: well that was until you stood me up
[22:21] gladdb: I'm sorry I didn't stand you up on purpose, I took a nap and didn't wake up until too late, I'm sorry :-(
[22:24] gladdb: I don't know what else to tell you, far as I know you were not interested. :-(
[22:25] PlasmaG7: so why did you wait till now to tell me this?
[22:25] PlasmaG7: this something someone my age would try to pull
[22:25] PlasmaG7: i'd thought you'd be more mature than that
[22:26] PlasmaG7: the kid is supposed to stand up to adult not the other way around
[22:26] PlasmaG7: i guess i thought you were worth the effort
[22:27] PlasmaG7: anyway. if you'd like to see me you makes plans. I tried my best
[22:27] gladdb: well I was coming off a double shift
[22:28] gladdb: I showed plenty of interest in you, you showed me you were not interested and was pawning me off someone else
[22:28] gladdb: I'm sorry you misinterpert this as an immaturity thing
[22:28] gladdb: but its not
[22:28] gladdb: it was accidental and I don't call people at 3 am
[22:29] PlasmaG7: i just wanted a message
[22:29] gladdb: and since my impression is you weren't interested I just left it at that
[22:29] PlasmaG7: i mean i know how enticing hooking up on craigslist can be over meeting someone for a drink but all i asked for is something to let me know you weren't going to show
[22:31] PlasmaG7: being interested in someone as a friend and someone to stick their dick in me are two different things
[22:31] gladdb: well again I aplogize
[22:31] gladdb: well I didn't get that impression
[22:31] PlasmaG7: i just got out of a relationship with someone i really cared about , i let you know that i wasn't down with anyhting mroe than meet up with you, to let you know that i was sincere in wanting to get to know you
[22:32] PlasmaG7: cuz you tried to call me out as bullshitting
[22:32] PlasmaG7: so i said hey what the fuck if you think i'm kidding then lets meet up
[22:33] PlasmaG7: and if you didn't want to i'd wish you;d just drop me a message saying "hey i think i might take a nap, i might not show up"
[22:34] gladdb: it wasn't intentioanl, I had every plans to show up
[22:34] gladdb: again sorry you feel this way, I don't know what to do or tell you at this point, you are correct, I am wrong and I guess I missed out a chance in meeting someone nice
[22:34] gladdb: stupid me, my loss
[22:35] PlasmaG7: well at least frank got to witness first hand what the normal protocol is for the gay community
[22:36] gladdb: you know what I am not going to take this bashing for you, you vented
[22:36] PlasmaG7: if you would like to do something in the future, that doesn't involve you sticking your dick in me, (at least in theory) you get in touch with me
[22:36] gladdb: I apologize with an HONEST excuse and yet you think I committed the crime of the centurty
[22:37] gladdb: I didn't have plans of sticking my dick in you, I wanted to get to know you
[22:37] gladdb: however you wanted nothing of the sorts, and wanted me to meet someone else
[22:37] PlasmaG7: then why did you wait to tell me now
[22:37] gladdb: so once you calm donw
[22:37] gladdb: down,
[22:37] PlasmaG7: why not tell me the day after
[22:37] gladdb: and if you are still interested in hanging out etc
[22:38] gladdb: then we'll chat
[22:38] gladdb: with the message you left me*, I was too afraid too, and apparatley rightly so since you just ripped me a new ass hole
[22:39] PlasmaG7: sorry it just blew my mindthat someone who asked me if i was bullshitting him would bull shit me
[22:39] gladdb: look
[22:39] gladdb: I have too much going on to play the games
[22:39] PlasmaG7: i was honestly bewilded, i didn;t think that was possible
[22:39] gladdb: I work a lot so when I make plans to go out I keep it
[22:40] gladdb: sorry for the fluke of lack of sleep catching up to me
[22:40] gladdb: I am not the stick my dick where ever an ass shows up
[22:40] gladdb: I'm tired of that game
[22:40] gladdb: I want to meet people for something more than that
[22:40] gladdb: this is why I don't go to gay places
[22:40] gladdb: the drama involved
[22:41] gladdb: much easier to stay home with the dog and watch a movie or go to a friends house
[22:41] gladdb: so since I didn't go I still get the drama
[22:41] PlasmaG7: ok well for future reference please try and not do that again, you know cuz i took the time to try for you
[22:41] PlasmaG7: and frank thought you died
[22:41] gladdb: felt like I was going to
[22:42] gladdb: but another story
[22:42] PlasmaG7: he's been asking about you all this time and i'm like "look this is what happens dude, you meet someone online and they stand you up, get used to it"
[22:42] PlasmaG7: but he still keeps asking about you
[22:43] PlasmaG7: so i thought i'd try get a hold of you
[22:43] gladdb: well tell him I made one of the biggest mistake in my life and I can't seem to apologize enough for it
[22:44] PlasmaG7: it's ok, i just got stood up by my friend tonight and he ruined my night in the manner you did a few weeks ago, i just finished chewing him out so i'd thought i'd start on you
[22:44] gladdb: gee thanks I'm honored
[22:44] PlasmaG7: i'm not as mad as i sound, i just thought it was silly
[22:44] gladdb: ya silly on my part
* the message was "So, you just didn't show up?" | | comments: 9 comments or Leave a comment |
| Dear President Bush,
As one of America's youth I find your safe sex policy of no sex before marriage quite powerful. But speaking as a young virile gay man who may never get married in his lifetime I'd like to ask you:
What am I supposed to do with all this sperm?
Thank You.
With Love,Pride, and Poppers,
C. Paul Ros | | comments: 9 comments or Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | The Cure-Just Like Heaven | | Subject: | Kill The Lights | | Time: | 11:21 am |
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| After my computer had a warp spasm and rejected all asians in the immediate vicinity, I hopped over to Troy for a quick weekend. Dan invited me to go and I wasn't going to go because Year Zero is out and I just wanted to lay in my room naked and accumulate malice, but then I remembered that I missed Matt, Keiran, Cameron, Justin, Joey, Nate and the rest of the PSI U Crew. It also dawned on me that since there was going to be beer and promiscuous activity going on that I might see the boy-I-told-some-of-you-all-about.=:X So yeah everyone got to see their little hermit gay ninja for a day.
RPI was having their Bad Idea Party so it was going to be a lot of random antics happening about. I got to chat with some cool cats and watch Matt perform a 47+5+5+5+Pi pole dancing striptease. I hit on Laura for a bit seeing as how I wanna hit that junk. I'm still trying to find where I dropped my sexuality.
Oh hey found it!
Had a great time and got to spend time with that boy-I-told-some-of-you-all-about. =:P Even though my friends were watching him like a hawk and making sure that we weren't alone most of the time, I think they realized that I'd be ok and that I wanted some time to just talk with him like I requested from the Greater Lords of Awkward Converstations. Though he was stoned along with being drunk it worked out because it made it easier for me to stick around instead of running away and hiding in the bathroom. Most of you know that I don't talk to guys, especially bears since I hate them so much for hating asians. But I tried my best for my first time. First time TALKING! Jeez.
I tempered my burning (gay? AZN?) pride and set up for the long haul. Yeah yeah so the first 30 minutes were AWKWARD!!!! But he made it really easy to talk to him. Did I mention he was drunk and stoned? It was ok though it gave me an excuse to be his chaperone in case he fell down or puked or got into a fist fight with a homeless man. The homeless of Troy can get fresh at times. I was really upset\worried that they had left him in front of the house alone while he was wobbly and slurry.
The wrath I would have released upon all of Troy if I found that sexy man at the bottom of the steps with his head cracked open. It would have been biblical. But I managed to sneak up behind him and lead him away from the steps and into an awkward conversation. (Note to reader:I am not allowed to talk to boys unsupervised. It's pathetic.) In the end I got to take advantage of him. Er I mean I managed to isolate him into a situation that made it easier for me to get to have a personal conversation. And then have my way with him. I kid.
Maybe...
All was good though. And no I did not perform a Bad Idea. Even though one of them literally was "Rape Paul! =:)" Matt got that one. *sigh* (Drama!) Except I think Matt hates me(DramaII) and my whole body was sore that Sunday (WOOO!). We got lost on the car ride home, we ended up somewhere in Northern Mass. instead of Central Mass. It was nice seeing as Dan and I like to talk about our inner workings a la What The Bleep Do We Know style. We took a detour to Hartford to get some stuff from the University of Hartford that he left. I dozed off here and there, but in the end woke up to be shotgun DJ. You know I'm good like that. So now I'm back. Hit me up negrophiles!
P.S:I did not mention boy-I-told-some-of-you-all-about in the previous Troy post because I had no idea that I'd ever see him again. Plus it was even more awkward then. So if some of you are in the dark about before mentioned dreamy stubbly Jew then, good, you deserve it for being a filthy godless heathen. I love you.
P.P.S: I just remembered that I had a sip of Dan's Cherry Coke and Vodka Sippy cup concoction. It was pretty good. | | comments: Leave a comment |
| | Current Music: | Assemblage 23-Binary | | Time: | 11:03 am |
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| There weren't many teachers I liked in high school. I could probably count them all on one hand. But there were some that made going to school and learning a bit easier for me. As most of you who have been following this program know, I stayed an extra year in school. So in my fifth year was I allowed to take whatever I wanted. I needed some chemistry in my life. I had not taken a science class after biology since I'd thought it'd be too easy to take classes that I was good at. You know I thought it would be a lot more pleasant to take a study hall and let my slacking ass take naps for most of my afternoons. But anyway. For chemistry I had Mr.Rooney. I know a lot of my scholars and scholarettes didn't really like him but I got along great with him. Case in point.
For the first few weeks I was up to no good, sleeping most of the time, making fun of all the hoochiemamas, just generally hating school. He was not having it. The first thing he made sure of was that I was the rotating lab buddy. This meant that during labs I would be paired up with anyone who's lab partner was absent. Now this may seem like just another excuse to slack but I think he realize that if he bombarded me with round after round of stupid teenagers my tolerance for stupidity would get the better of me. It did. For another he had caught on to real quick to what I was doing with my assignments and lab work. I'd do my homework, school work, and labs and then throw them away. This is because 1) I never really thought I did good work 2) I am a passive aggressive bastard. He caught me when I accidentally threw a stack of work into the garbage (recycle, people!) So during class when I was taking one of my many naps he threw all the assignments he had collected out of the trash at me. Graded. I quickly became a better student.
Since there was so many girls in the class I had to make sure that they knew their place was in the kitchen and not anywhere near Na or Cl. So I quickly became second in the class, underneath a girl. (It was Jen Vogt, that ho thought she was hot shit) Around this time I would play off of his humor and insert my own jokes to be an asshole. He didn't mind it being at his expense and I didn't mind crushing some tube top wearing chica's self esteem. Again, passive aggressive bastard. He also was very well aware of the diversity sitting in his classroom. Often times it really felt like some minor apartheid just because half the class would be white and the rest would be a mix of ethnicities. A lot of the teachers didn't know were to spot the ignorance and racism before it got out of hand. Mr.Rooney knew when and if someone was being a hateful bigot. So he would stop me before I opened my mouth.
There was no slur unpunished, no stereotyping implicated that didn't result in immediate xxxdestructionxxx. Early in the year some football playing muscled up italian boy used the word faggot and Mr.Rooney flipped out. He wasn't having that word in his classroom and he would make sure that no one used it ever again. He had dropped the hammer. I slept through the hammer dropping. During the experiment were he shows us what happens when Na meets H2O I stood up after the blinding light died down and shouted "I'm cured!" and dove into a giggling girl's vagina as full proof of that I was cured of my gheyness. I had a relapse shortly after. A few weeks later after making the joke that if muscle italian boy was so sure he could spot a gay anywhere I asked if he knew that I also enjoyed wearing tights and touching boys privates Mr.Rooney ask in the front of the whole class, "Paul, are you gay?". I loved him from that moment on. I answered honestly of course, and for some reason no one seemed to get it. I mean yeah a lot of these kids were from 8 mile and the rest were from Varsity Blues but they never had experience with a real homelesssexual let alone one of their peers fully willing to admit to it. I was confident that he'd have my back. And I was right.
There was a girl. I'm calling her "the-latina-girl-that-would-not-shut-up". She knew that God was gonna punish the gays and the rest of the godless baby eating monsters. She knew that everyone was a racist and that all injustice stemmed from everyone not recognizing her Jo Lo-esque talents of bad singing and salsa dancing. She also felt that because of this she didn't have to participate in any labs. When I was grouped up with her I decided instead of doing the actual lab Jen Vogt and I would try to come up with a potion blessed by the Lord to cure my gheyness again. I once again wasn't saved for that long, but long enough for big mouth to fail the lab since she had waited on me to doeverything so she could sit back and spew nonsense. I got the data from Jen and some other classmates.
This girl always made sure to give Mr.Rooney a headache. Asking questions he's already answered or arguing with him just because she didn't understand something instead of actually opening her head and letting some information in. She also was just a general bitch. One time she got up to hand in some work and noticed that there was a picture of his oldest son on his desk. His son was the hunky captain quarterback for Guilford High. When she saw the picture she began to gush "OMG IS THAT YOUR SON, HE IS SOOOOOOOO HOT, I LIKE EVERY BOY!" followed by a long line of splangish garbling. One day she had said something really bitchy and ignorant to me (can't remember if it was racist or just generally stupid) she asked out loud "Mr.Rooney, is your son single?"
Mr Rooney replies "Yeah, but he's looking. Right, Paul" and proceeds to wink at me. I laugh and nod, reply back with "Oh yeah. Definitely! " and wink myself. Big mouth could only screw her face in confusion and mutter to everyone around her "What? What does that mean?"
One of my best.teachers.ever. | | comments: 10 comments or Leave a comment |
| Because I decided that staying up and talking to mindcrime414 all night was better, my once dry load of laundry is soaking wet.
*shit* *rawr* *anguish*
I said it and I just ignored going out to take my laundry down. That's what I get! Goddamn me! | | comments: Leave a comment |
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